Wow, how about that. 2 times in 1 day about the same freaking topic. I can’t get a break.

About this one. My hubby and I are taking a cruise next April with my stepson and his girlfriend, my dad, hubby’s Aunt, and hubby’s parents. Well, hubby “gave” me permission to pay off the cruise for all of us. So I said okay. Well, that’s not what has brought me back a second time in 1 day for this posting. What has is as follows:

Just before I leave to go pay on our cruise for next year, dad brought the mail in. I looked through it and opened it all up so that we could look at it later this evening. I came across 2 checks from our place of employment. Both check’s were the same amount. I messaged the hubby and told him that I was going to put these 2 checks into the bank when I got back from AAA. So, I did. I used the Mobile Banking system that our bank has. I then get a message back which is at the end of his shift at work, while he is headed to his second job. This text reads as follows: “I want those in fun account.” = hubby; “I all ready deposited them in the main.” = me; “I want to do those checks” = hubby, “I had to sign them” = hubby; “Didn’t know. “All I had to do was write for mobile banking. You should have said something about it long before receiving the checks. How was I suppose to know.” = me; “They were made out to me” = hubby; “One was mine. Yes they were made out to you. I open the mail. I do the banking too. We are going to argue over this. we’ve never argued over it before. Such drama. I am finished with drama.” = me; “I thought putting them in the bank would be top priority but again I am wrong. I am always wrong. So from now on I guess I don’t open any mail with your name on it that may contain money. I won’t ever open any mail of yours anymore. So if you don’t open it before the time it expires then we have lost out on extra money that we could (excuse my language here) fucking have used. Don’t come crying to me over something that you forgot to do.” = me; “Also, since I don’t do anything right, as of today is the last time I will do any of your laundry. Don’t you ever touch mine again. You put one of my new blouses in the washer/dryer without reading the tag on it to see how it was to be washed. Thankful it still fucking fits.” = me; “So there you have control of all of your stuff.” = me. Hubby then tried to call me at this point and because his window was down or the air condition was on it made the connection really bad. So I then stated to him, “Roll up your fucking window if you want to talk to me on the phone.” = me. After listening to his voicemail that he left about the air condition and window. “The only thing that we will talk about is the bills that must be paid tomorrow or the first part of next week.” = me; “That’s not what I said you took out of context. If you care I made it.” = hubby; “I do care. I am just so tired of the drama that you want to pull with me. We can easily take the $150 and put it into the damn “FUN ACCOUNT” since you seem so hell bent out of shape over it. It’s not the end of the world.” = me.

So, as you can tell, this is how that conversation went about the darn 2 checks. He has not yet since replied to my last comment. I guess he must think that he won the argument, when in reality, he has not. You see, it was a few months back that my hubby had gotten all bent out of shape with money (once again – this has never changed), he stated that “we never have any money” – even when there is like 2-4 hundred in the account and it is the end of the month. I don’t understand his way of thinking on this and I never will. But the main thing here that I am upset and hurt by is that I have to “get permission” to make a deposit of money, when we are both married – TO EACH OTHER – Which gives us the right then to open each others mail (because they could be bills that need to be paid.)  God forbid that I do anything right. He always shows his backside when it comes to money. I work hard, I may not get the money I won’t or deserve, but I work. I may not have the greatest job – but it is a job. I try to find better jobs, they just are not out there for me right now, and no one is willing to work with me with school and having Sundays off for church. So until I find a way to be able to make money, pay bills, and do school, and get my Sundays off, hubby will never be happy. We have 3 different accounts. The first one we call “the main account”, the second one we call “the FUN ACCOUNT”, and the third account is my account for my thirty-one business so that he doesn’t have to see the money come out of the main account. He is working 2 jobs. I work 1 – regular part-time job, 1 – fun job (thirty-one), plus I am trying to work through 2 work from home business, along with caring for my dad, teaching Sunday school, playing the piano at the church, Church Historian, and special music leader, and in the choir. I also babysit now and then and help a friend out when they go out of town. So what am I to do, give up everything that I love to do? Am I to give up all of my friends and my family? No = he wouldn’t, so why should I. Anyways, I am trying to find ways to get ahead in some of our bills, and sometimes in order for you to start an at Home Based Business you have to fork out money to do so. I’ve done that but not even that much. I can spend like a $1.00 and he will still get all bent out of shape. So in less that 20 days, my hubby and I will be celebrating our 15th year anniversary of being married, and our 16th year of being together. (Our dog will celebrate her 14th birthday around the same time.) And we still seem to argue over the stupid stuff, or the stuff that we don’t want the other to have, or over money – no matter the amount.

I feel at this moment that any money that I get has to be given to him, because he has to have total control of everything. If I continue with “his drama” I could end up doing major damage to myself in the long run, and I don’t want that. So as I told him earlier I am done with his drama. So as of right now I am taking it upon myself to say this to myself. I am much better off without all of the drama, but because it is the way of life (thanks to Satan) I can be the bigger person and take control of my life back. This all begins with me I know. I have to take action if I really and truly want to be happy. Which of course I do, don’t we all?